3 Mistakes I Made When My Kids Started Swimming

From time to time, Heartland Aquatics will have guest writers cover topics that are important to not only the team, but swimming in general. One of our segments will be from swim parents from my past or currently involved in the sport of swimming. They will be writing about aspects of their experience and how it can help anyone from the most experienced to the newest of our swim parents. We hope you get something out of these posts and remember to start the conversation in the comment section provided.


Thanks and enjoy!


-Coach Erik


3 Mistakes I Made When My Kids Started Swimming


We all make mistakes. To not make a mistake would be impossible. As a parent you always “feel” like you are doing what is best for your children even when you are not. I am a highly competitive person and when my kids began swimming I made several mistakes that could have hindered their enjoyment of the sport. Luckily, I was able to acknowledge my shortcomings so my kids and I could begin to really experience the joy that swimming brings to our lives.


First, I found myself surrounded by other parents who were constantly focusing on times. My kids’ times, their kids’ times, other kids’ times, and it became exhausting. When this happens you can’t help but start to compare your child to others and start putting pressure on them to be someone else. Every child develops differently and as long as your child is working hard and maintaining a positive attitude, good things will happen. So, I learned to trust the coaches, put the stop watches away, and allow the timers and coaches to worry about the times. After all, there are at least 3 or 4 watches/clocks on your kids, how many more do they need?


Secondly, I caught myself trying to analyze my kids’ races. Why? I wasn’t a swimmer. What in the world did I know about swimming? I began watching other parents who did the same and I noticed that their children begrudgingly walked toward them after swimming, as if to brace themselves for what they would hear. I also noticed parents feeling like they had to be the last one to speak to their kids before they swam in an almost frantic attempt to get the last word in. I knew I didn’t want that type of relationship with my kids so I had to learn to leave all analysis up to my kids and their coaches. This gave my kids the opportunity to be down on deck with their coaches and teammates which is where they should be. I tell my kids before they head for the deck “swim hard and do your best” and I don’t typically see them until the meet is over.


Last of all, when my kids first started swimming, I expressed disappointment whenever they didn’t drop time. This is such a bad habit to get into and you are just setting yourself up for disaster. No one wants to watch the sulky little kid on the side of the pool who didn’t drop time AND no one wants to sit in the stands next to the sulky parent who is trying to BRIBE the kid who didn’t drop time. Now I tell my kids good job after every meet, NO MATTER WHAT, and we talk about the fact that you are not going to drop
time every race PERIOD! Learning how to handle this early is good for kids so they know how to deal with adversity, if as parents we try to sugarcoat it and expect constant time drops we are making no effort to truly understand the sport of swimming.


Making these changes early helped me to really step back and enjoy watching my kids participate in a sport they absolutely love. Had I not made these changes I don’t know that my kids would have continued to enjoy swimming and I would have been a wreck at every meet. It has allowed them to take ownership over their swim careers and it has made room for the coaches to develop good, solid bonds with my kids. If you don’t sit back and enjoy it, you are missing the most important parts!!